i found this while cleaning up my laptop.... i don't remember saving this but it sure was a nice read ;)

the greatest irony of loving the right person at the wrong time. having the wrong person when the time is right & finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life. most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love. love is always present. it's just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little. as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right. most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love but to only discover that the one who we truly love remains either a friend or a stranger

Going Oriental

thats a lot of rice ;)

so watching all of these asian dramas has made me re-evaluate my opinion about asian guys. i've always believed that they were all softies and clingy and awkward and just plain looking. but i have to say, there are some hot ones out there. however, these dramas are just that... dramas... not reality. and COME ON, these are actors who live in the continent of ASIA... not here in America! :( i am getting ahead of myself. maybe thats why i've let this online frenzy take over my life. the more i watch it the more i can believe in this false hope that maybe, JUST MAYBE, i will find an asian man like that someday. hahaha asian-americans are tainted, in my eyes. lol right now, i want a pure bred korean guy who was born and raised in Korea. preferably Gong Yoo! gosh, where do i start? he is amaziiiiiiiiiiiiing.

as for the update in the real world (lol)....
i DID like this one guy... and surprisingly he was korean. lol but that went nowhere. idk... its not like we even talked like that... in fact, it was actually a random chit chat between strangers. but somehow, it hurts to think about him. :( its like wanting something you know you can never have. i just wish him the best... good riddance.

how can you be so high one minute?
and then feel like shit the next?
i never really understood the complexity of "Courage"
to approach someone.
to face a problem head on.
to put your REAL self out there.
with no worries not even one.
i commend those who do.
cause i'm not a brave soldier.
one little taste of rejection,
and it hurts so deep.
bitch.

oh boy.

nigga you gay.
stamp that shitttt to your lupe fiasco wannabe rhymes.

....exhale. i'm good

 sick as a perverted molester!

so on friday morning, i woke up feeling so weak. my throat hurt, my nose was runny, and my body was simply not having it. but of course, i had to force myself and just go to school since it was friday. this year, i'm trying to attend school as much as i can. last year i was absent once a week or so. LOL i'm trying to break that habit. anyways, throughout the whole day, i felt like i was going to faint. by 4th period, i just sat in the corner of the room looking like i was gonna die. unfortunately, 4th period is AP LANG... i had to read and then write essays pertaining to the material i had just read. so basically, i had to pay attention to what i was reading. i couldn't handle it anymore. it's friday, who's giving a f_ck? and to top it all off, i had to stay after school for GADA. how superb!

the only highlight of my day was going to dinner with Rona. we went to Grace's Fortune and it was full of yum yums. HAHAHA we talked about what was currently going on in our lives and what not. it was nice since we haven't done that in a while. however, when we got home... i got worse. i just laid in my bed and tried to rest. my mom told me to drink some NyQuil and damn, that shizz put me to sleep ASAP. i love drinking that cause it knocks me out and lets me sleep THROUGHOUT the whole night, without any interuption from coughing or snot. LOVES IT! however, the following morning, i was crap. i had the whole sha-bang... cough, runny nose, sore throat, phlem, etc. 

                                        
                                           i felt like that.

and that brings us to now... i hope i'm better by monday. this sh_t is getting too much!